Relationships

Photo Cred: http://maozblog.com/israel/living-in-israel-blog-why-you-need-to-make-new-friends/#.U4T7WV5bTwI

Okay so I tried to do something different this week; by different I mean three attempts at recording a video. But sadly that was not to happen. This week I want to talk about relationships, not so much romantic relationships or the livery dove kind but everyday relationships. Mainly friendships.

I bring up this topic because recently I feel like I've been struggling with my standing in a particular relationship. I have been trying to find my footing, so to speak, with a specific person in my life. And maybe this makes me a bitch for ranting anonymously but really all I'm looking for is an outlet, a safe zone where I can get what I'm feeling off my chest and express myself. This is a big reason as to why I will not name names, I will not ambiguously hint at the person to which I'm speaking about. I will be speaking mostly in generalities and what I've been feeling as of late.

And really what I've been feeling is like I've been demoted to second string, I'm the back up friend to someone that still claims that we're more than that. Honestly I don't mind being a second string friend, I have them, we all have them. Being in that position is not really the issue what bothers me is when I'm told that I mean more to you; but your words and your actions are so inconsistent that it hurts a bit. I don't like being told we're close and yet I seem to be a dirty little secret.

Now I've got quality friends in my life that I would bend over backwards for! I've got friends that I would do anything for! I guess that's part of growing up, I'm not interested in having 20-30 friends that only know bits and pieces about me. I'm interested in those 3-4 people that I can go to when I need someone to just sit with me and watch bad TV with, have a drink after a crappy day. I'm interested in those people that are honest with me, that will tell me to my face they have other plans with people and that's why we can't hang out. While good close friends are like family to me I respect that they have their own lives.

And sometimes I like to blame that fact that I'm a Scorpio on this, because there's no in-between with me. I run either hot or cold, I can be your best friend or your worst enemy; I don't really have that lukewarm personality! To fellow Scorpios out there you know what I'm talking about, you know what it's like to exist only at either end of the spectrum and not in middle.

So I guess what I'm really trying to say is that it's honesty I really value above all else, don't try to fool either of us and claim that I am more to you when I'm not. Because I don't mind being second string, I will still remain your friend and maybe we will be better for it. But right now I can't deal with where we are, it stings and I wish it didn't.

Nostalgia

Time to discuss the feeling of nostalgia, this past Sunday marked two years since I graduated from Adelphi University! Two years!

Some days it feels like just yesterday I went to class and sat through an hour or more of lectures, workshopping and exams. I can't believe how much time has gone by, and so quickly, since I finished school. This year during the commencement ceremony I was at work, in the back of my head I knew the ceremony was happening while I was doing my daily duties at work but my brain just couldn't wrap itself around that concept.

I guess it's a good thing that it still amazes me how much time has passed. Because if it amazes me it means my life is moving forward, moving onto newer and greater things. Life after graduation was a scary thing, I mean for one I had literally endless possibilities in front of me and a laundry list of things I had to do. Basically all the things I had to do was figure out ways to navigate the adult world as an adult myself.

But after the initial shock it all came down to baby steps, job, car, career and things of that nature. I'm a list maker, an organizer so I made it a step by step process in order to navigate this next step. Well my head is above water and I'm finding it easier and easier to balance my work life with my social life.

So two years down, ten, twenty, fifty+ to go ...

Once Upon a Time

Photo Cred: https://www.facebook.com/OnceABC?fref=photo

So in hour of the two hour season finale of Once Upon a Time this week's blog is devoted entirely to one of my favorite shows on TV! And I really do mean favorite, do not bother me between 8-9pm on a Sunday night because it is likely I will either snap at you or ignore you completely. Unless of course you are also partaking in that amazingness that is ABC on a Sunday night. If you are watching as well then by all means; text me, tweet me ... especially tweet as I do spend a majority of the episode live tweeting it because I usually cannot contain myself during these episodes.

For those of you that follow me on Twitter and suffered through my endless, or seemingly endless, rants on Twitter during a brand new episode this all began when I really only knew of one other friend watching the show as well. Now due to scheduling and our lives we didn't always get to watch them as they premiered, so it was difficult for me to express what I was feeling with someone going through the same thing. So I took to Twitter where dozens upon dozens of fans could share in my emotions and what I was feeling in that particular moment of time. Now I've since learned that I have several other friends that enjoy the show and watch as episodes premiere, but that does not mean the Twitter rants will be ending anytime soon.

But let's talk a little bit about the twist at the end of Sunday night's finale ... namely ... FROZEN! Frozen is coming to Storybrooke, Elsa has come to Maine. I personally really enjoyed this twist of events because up until that moment in the show everything was happy-happy joy-joy, now after everything the citizens of Storybrooke have endured in this past season a happy ending was long overdue at least for a few of them. But I was feeling the definite lack of a cliffhanger that would make me itch for season 4 to start ... well ... NOW! Elsa gave me that cliffhanger, she left me with a lot of questions such as; Why did Rumple have her imprisoned? Will she be the evil Ice Queen from which her tale stems? Will she be the misunderstood Disney character we've all grown to love? How does she know Rumple? So many questions that I want answered!

That being said though I also have issue with this whole Maid Marian twist. My issues with her started from the moment Emma saved her from the Evil Queen's dungeon and ultimately changed the past. We didn't know it at the time but that was Robin Hood's wife, Regina's soulmate and now his wife is back putting all parties involved in one hell of a love triangle. My heart breaks for Regina, she'd finally found happiness after years of being miserable. And she was miserable, not entirely unjustified, but still she was sad and I for one wanted to finally her happy. Now Maid Marian is back and not only does this enrage Regina, but let's not forget about the fact that Robin is now in an awkward position. We're all heartbroken for Regina but what of Robin Hood? He has his wife back, Roland's mother, but he also clearly cares very deeply for Regina! How will he deal with this particular turn of events? Yet another question that I need answered by the upcoming season 4 premiere ... in the fall ... ughh!

And finally let's talk a little bit about Disney. I can't really, in good conscious, end an OUAT blog post without delving into the Disney aspect. Because while Disney is fabulous and there are a lot of iconic aspects (the wardrobe mostly) that made it into the show Disney is not the be all and end all of OUAT. We all have to remember that all of these fairy tales ... ALL OF THEM ... come from much grittier, much darker and much dirtier fairy tales that were around long before Walt Disney waltzed onto the scene. That being said we have to remember that while Frozen is Disney's latest hit, and it is a HIT, it wasn't always about a misunderstood queen and a singing snowman. Olaf is amazing, let's just get that out of the way, but he wasn't exactly something Hans Christian Andersen had in mind when he penned the original tale. 

Guys we all have to remember that Hans Christian Andersen and the Brothers Grimm didn't exactly end their stories with "... and they lived happily ever after." In fact many of these princesses that we grew up with ended up maimed, abused, beaten or even dead by the end of the story. My all time favorite Disney princess is Ariel, I've loved The Little Mermaid since the first time I saw that movie but the reality is The Little Mermaid is the sanitized version of The Brothers Grimm. Spoiler alert: Ariel does not in fact end up with her prince, but committing suicide at the end. Yeah I guess that part is somewhere on the cutting room floor back at Disney studios.

From the Producers

The reality of this show is that the producers have watered down the original fairy tales, but not sanitized them the way Disney has. And while I find it amazing that the creators of this show have found a way to work in conjunction with the good folks at Disney, they've been able to keep a lot of the iconic aspects of the princess movies there are still many fairy tales that Disney hasn't touched. The Wizard of Oz? That's Warner Bros. guys, I do not recall a version of Rumplstiltskin from my childhood and the only Hansel and Gretel I feel worth remembering is the more recent version featuring Jeremy Renner & Gemma Arterton. As many, if not all of us, know Disney has the mother of all copyrights! And I find it commendable to the creators and producers for finding a way to incorporate these things into their show that will bring the viewers right back to childhood but keep them interested thanks to the reimagined aspect of the show. It's really amazing that Adam Horowitz and Eddy Kitsis had the vision and determination to not only figure out a way to incorporate the movies/stories that we all know and love, but give them a new twist while still respecting what's already been done to them.

So Season 4 ... I really cannot wait for you!

Imperfect

“This is all you have to do. Sit down once a day to the novel and start working without internal criticism, without debilitating expectations, without the need to look at your words as if they were already printed and bound. 


The beginning is only a draft. Drafts are imperfect by definition.” 

-Walter Mosley

Shutting off that internal editor is the hardest part. I am my own worst critic but I strive daily to tell that critic to shut up and do what I enjoy. 

I'm usually able to put my critic in the corner and write with abandon. It's dealing with the critic when it rears it's ugly head that I'm still learning.